Conquering Neuroblastoma

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Sight :(

(Heather's words)
Dr. Hunt said the most we can hope for now is Lukas seeing shapes and being able to distinguish between light and dark. Every now and then I catch him looking at things though, so is he seeing more or just the outline of what he's fixed on? I guess we won't know until he can tell us, but when he seems to be looking at me, my heart jumps inside and I don't want that moment to end. I want him to see me, and all my imperfections. I want him to see his daddy and Theron and his family. I want so badly for him to see his nurses and doctors that have fallen in love with him and helped make him better. Dr. Hunt told me miracles do happen, he's seen them, but right now, medically, Lukas won't have normal vision. Just light, dark and maybe shapes. That's so hard to hear, I cried a little on the way home, but I am too tired and emotionally drained that my tear factory has gone out of business. But, I guess vision loss is much better than baby loss. I mean, we just put him through major brain surgery for the chance for his optic nerves to regenerate and get some vision back, is this it? Seriously? This?I guess I'm just selfish, but I want Lukas to see all the good that this world has to show. So we should start 3 more days of chemo tomorrow and work on getting rid of the rest of the cancer. I can't even type that word without cringing... ugh...

Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Results are In!



These are Heather's words!

Yeah, there are still some spots lighting up on the MIBG scan, so we'll do a couple more rounds of chemo and then do some more scans to see what is going on. I'm not surprised, actually I am kind of relieved (I know it sounds bad to say) that we aren't just stopping cold turkey on the treatments. I think I personally will feel like we have some "closure" if we actually do at least one more round of chemo and we'll probably do two.I guess from y'alls perspective, you might think I'm nuts to say that I'm glad we are going to do more chemo. But, like my grandma said tonight, radiation kills what we can see and chemo kills what we can't see, so, take it how you will but I have a small sense of relief.