Conquering Neuroblastoma

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.”
President Gordon B. Hinckley

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Sight :(

(Heather's words)
Dr. Hunt said the most we can hope for now is Lukas seeing shapes and being able to distinguish between light and dark. Every now and then I catch him looking at things though, so is he seeing more or just the outline of what he's fixed on? I guess we won't know until he can tell us, but when he seems to be looking at me, my heart jumps inside and I don't want that moment to end. I want him to see me, and all my imperfections. I want him to see his daddy and Theron and his family. I want so badly for him to see his nurses and doctors that have fallen in love with him and helped make him better. Dr. Hunt told me miracles do happen, he's seen them, but right now, medically, Lukas won't have normal vision. Just light, dark and maybe shapes. That's so hard to hear, I cried a little on the way home, but I am too tired and emotionally drained that my tear factory has gone out of business. But, I guess vision loss is much better than baby loss. I mean, we just put him through major brain surgery for the chance for his optic nerves to regenerate and get some vision back, is this it? Seriously? This?I guess I'm just selfish, but I want Lukas to see all the good that this world has to show. So we should start 3 more days of chemo tomorrow and work on getting rid of the rest of the cancer. I can't even type that word without cringing... ugh...

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